How to nail your New Year's Resolutions

Posted in Self Improvement on 5th January 2020

"New year, new me".

I love quotes like this because despite people's best intentions, they always seem to fizzle out by mid February at best and they are back to their old habits. The truth of the situation is that change is the hardest thing to implement and sustain. 

Let me correct that. "Positive change" is the hardest thing to implement and sustain. It is very easy to pick up bad habits and behaviours. The reason it's so easy is because they reward the pleasure centres of our brain. They are fun to do and give us a dopamine high. 

Good habits that require sacrifice and dedication in the short term for long term gains, don't have these dopamine highs associated with them. Rather the brain views these as things that cause pain and actively tries to dissuade you from doing these. 

Just compare how easy is it for you to binge on chips and soda versus getting up and doing a quick workout at home. The brain actively sabotages your overall well being as it associates the exercise with pain and the food with good emotions.

Since it is now 2020, you'll most likely hear:
"New decade, new me". 

And it's awesome that you wish to make positive changes in your life. But the changing of a date won't be your saviour. A good starting point, sure. But for true change that impacts your life in a meaningful way, you'll have to be your own saviour. And that remains true whether you start in January or July, 2020 or 2050.

So today we're going to go over the things you can do to make a meaningful impact to your life.

Remember that building habits is a slow process

Too many people make the mistake of being way too enthusiastic on January 1. They want to see results and they want to see them now. They go all out on day 1 and feel good about themselves. Then on day 2 and 3 they're reminded by their brains of how much work it was and how they'd be much better off just watching Netflix instead.

When you go all out on day one, you're setting yourself up for failure. Instead what you have to do is to try and build a habit.
 
Start off with small, achievable goals that aren't too much work. The hardest part of building a new habit is to practice it everyday.
 
Your brain will come up with a million reasons not to do something. It's up to you to get past that initial resistance. By keeping your daily goals small and easy, you get past that initial hesitation of "it's too much work".

For example, when you wake up on a cold winter morning and it's dark outside which of these options seems easier? Getting dressed and driving 20 minutes to a gym or doing a 10 minute HIIT right in your living room?

Keep your goals simple and easy for the first month when you are building a new habit. You can always increase the difficulty later once you've established a habit.
 
Rome wasn't built in a day and your six pack abs won't be built in a week either. Slow, meaningful strides towards the goal should be your aim.

You may fall but you can always stand back up again

Another thing I see is when people miss a day of doing their habit, they are very harsh on themselves and get depressed. If you couldn't manage to fit in that morning run today, it's fine. Life happens. We aren't perfect. What matters is you show up the next day. Don't let that one day gap turn into two days and more.

When you fail, don't let it affect you. Dust yourselves off, get back up and get back to it. There's a reason things like these are hard. Don't beat yourself up for missing out on a day.

Your mindset is the only thing standing between you and your goals

There's a reason why successful people talk about mindset and the thought process they follow. The human brain is the biggest asset we have when used the right way. It is also the biggest liability we have.

If you let your negative thoughts consume you, you'll never succeed despite any efforts you put in.

"I'll never be able to do this".
"This is too hard".
"I can't do this anymore".

Remember, our brains are looking for an excuse not to do the difficult things. When you let negative thoughts distract you, your brain will take over and suggest that you not do it.

The same way when you don't entertain these thoughts but rather respond to them in a positive manner, you set yourself up for success.

"This is too hard"... "But I've improved immensely from the time I first started. Let's keep going".

Switch it around. Let the negatives influence you into thinking about the positives. Don't let your brain control you. Learn to control your brain to achieve your goals.

Knowing something and not doing it is as good as not knowing

This is probably the most important thing I can tell you. When we read self help articles like this, what do we usually do? Feel good about ourselves and not take action. That is the biggest mistake you can make.

When you know something but don't implement it into your life, it is as good as not knowing. Not taking action is still an action. A bad one at that. Remember, there won't be any positive changes without you taking action first.

Summary

1. Setting small, easy goals at the beginning helps you create a habit. Difficulty can be increased later.
2. We are not perfect. When you have a break in your habit, forgive yourself and get back to it the next day.
3. Your mindset plays a very big role in the success and failure of your goals.
4. Lastly and most importantly- Knowing something and not doing it is as good as not knowing. Take action.

Action steps

Here's a quick list of steps to get you started on a habit you wish to develop.

1. Choose an area you'd like to improve in and commit to a small, easy goal of 5 minutes. Say, 5 minutes of yoga.
2. Try to do this in the morning if possible before the hustle and bustle of the day have you questioning your willpower in the evening. It's easier in the morning when you are fresh after a good night's rest.
3. Follow through everyday. If you miss a day, don't feel bad. Just ensure you're back at it the next day.
4. After a few weeks, when you have created this habit as part of your daily routine, you can increase the difficulty or duration.
5. Remember it's a process. There will be ups and downs. Carry through keeping the end goal in mind.
6. Profit!